Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Dear Charlotte,

What is it about me that is so cat-like? What prompts people to call me a cat? I now get called 'catty' and 'kitty', not only be separate groups of friends who don't know each other (and I definitely don't tell people about this 'adorable' pet name)...but my family in Canada, for cripes sake.

It’s a cruel rumour that I love cats - in truth, it’s quite the opposite: I find them pompous and evil. When I was 5, a friend's kitten climbed up the inside of my dress and hung from my pants. True story. Also, I will never forget having my face scratched by our cat Tabby (aged 6), whilst trying to give her a little cuddle. I also witnessed her vomiting a grape under the kitchen table. Tabby didn’t last long. (Not that we killed her...my brother was horribly allergic to her hair, so we gave her the old heave-ho) I didn’t miss her.

Yes, yes, I can hear you now 'but Caitlin, you're always on those cat websites'. That is totally different - I've noticed a steady rise in 'Cat Humour', of late. Its widely used in TV adverts, proving that 'Cat Humour' isn’t just for stoners and weirdoes, no no - its purrfectly normal to appreciate it.

Argh, I’m cracking up.



*note to self, tomorrow I will write a clever, politically charged blog - writing which will make my uni debts seem ALLL worth it.

Monday, 6 June 2011

Dear Charlotte,
Isn't it funny how you tweet away any old rubbish, and imagine sending it out in to the universe not thinking anyone will read, or even notice, it and out of nowhere someone says: 'I've been following what you've been up to via your tweets and blog'. Gah! Suddenly massively regret endlessly tweeting about being hungry; watching Made in Chelsea and/or the weather(!)  Or, even more surprising, you get a tweet complementing your blog. This, dear Charlotte, has just happened to me - and I couldn't be more thrilled.

I don't believe in coincidences, so it can only - in my opinion - be down to Fate that I received this particular tweet the very day after vowing to blog more regularly. It was the proverbial 'kick up the butt' I needed - encouragement that I haven't received since...well, in a while. So for this, I thank you '@VoodouLiverpool'.

So. In my previous blog, I wrote about embarking on the Dukan diet. This, as it turns out, wasn't to be. First off, a good friend of mine informed me that 2 days in her iPhone turned into a baguette and she was having nightmares about prawns. Secondly, did you know that the Dukan plan doesn't allow alcohol? Doesn't.Allow.Alcohol. And do we, or do we not, live in a country who prides itself on its relationship with alcohol? *looks around for nods of approval*

The final nail in the coffin,  was horror stories of 'plates of meat finished off with a yoghurt'. I am, for the best part, a vegetarian after all.

I have decided that I am above diets.  I am going for the 'female warrior' body instead this summer. Firm, and unapolagetically not-stick-thin. I will continue with my gym routine...maybe cut down on weight-lifting (my arms are looking suspiciously wrestler-ish) and eat whatever the 'eck I like. Tonight, for instance, I may have scoffed half a packet of Mars Planets. Here-here! (is that right? it doesn't look right?)

On that note - I'm off to bed.

C xx

p.s. I have a wish list, and it goes like this:
  1. A white blazer
  2. Nude Court shoes
  3. A printed dress a la Diane Von Furstenberg (did u know dvf were responsible for those  purple flares?!)
  4. Some new ballet flats (I swear mine have gone moldy)
  5. And finally - a cut-out-at-the shoulder top from ASOS
that is all. x

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Dear Charlotte,

Ah cripes - not very good at this blogging malarkey. Have also forgotten the font and size used in previous blogs...BALL ACHE. Anyway, moving on...

I've just read a blog about, amongst other things, 'slippers'. One pair in particular caught my eye...they were made of bread; individual baguettes, really.

I love bread so darned much, and it is with much regret that I will soon be cutting it out of my life completely. That's right, in my pursuit of the 'pippa-body' (I would defs settle for the 'carole-body'), I will soon be subjecting my body to the Dukin Diet.

Yes, after much consideration (seeing the Middleton's on their yacht), and against all of my better judgement (I've tried Atkins, and it's HELL),  I have decided to diet - something I thought I had left behind me after the infamous maple-syrup-diet-from-first-year-at-uni diet. True that particular diet had some undesirable side effects...I had to, for example, give up ALL physical exercise, including sitting down, in favour of lying down in bed.  But, I feel it will be all be worth it in the end when I am skinny-licious.

I shall blog my progress.

That is all.


Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Dear Charlotte,

Just a quickie - first off...if you chose to eat jacket potato every day of the week; that is your fault, and your fault alone. It's not my fault that I am a culinary genius.

Secondly, the play was very good - and considering that I don't usually like theatre (perhaps I am in the wrong job?), this is praise indeed!

And thirdly (and lastly), not sure whether we've ever spoken about 'The Model Agency', but I LOVE it. It reminds me so much of my job...we too do an awful lot of judging too...I adore it! They smoke ALL the time, and travel all around the world (less like my job). 

That's all for now, night night,

C xx
Dear Charlotte,

Before I start, let me just tell you (because I know you'll appreciate it) that I am currently eating risotto. Its left-overs from last night, and its not my finest...but good all the same. Risotto always reminds me of you. Remember when you broke up with 'whats-his-face' and I came round and made you risotto Verde? You'd already eaten, but you had some anyway, because that's just the kinda gal that you are. The one that I am currently eating is a little unaccustomed. Since I had no white wine, I had to chose between opening a bottle of birthday champagne...and using some left over Christmas mulled wine, which is still in my fridge. I opted for the mulled variety...I think you'd do the same. Also, because I was low on vegetables, its loaded with peas. So imagine, if you can, an off reddy-brown risotto, dotted with green.

I know this isn't, strictly speaking, a 'blog' - but its the only way that I can write one and not feel like a giant tit. When I've tried before, I just don't know what to write, you know? So, instead, I write to you dear.

Oh good, I'm running out of things to say already...errm...did you watch the Lily Allen thing last night? It was rather good actually. She took her dog to see a psychiatrist at one point, which was both cute and annoying. I currently have approximately £2.00 in my bank account - enough said. Aside from that *sigh* she came across very well - just a normal girl really.

Back to food - I went for lunch today. I had a halloumi salad with harrissa/mayonnaise dressing. It was L.U.S.H. And only £5.00 in All Bar One, in town. I'd recommend. I also had one glass of wine and was basically pissed when I got back to the office.

Anyway, I have to go now...theatre tonight with work - one of our actresses is in a production in The Everyman and Playhouse, I'll let you know how it is.

Next time, I'll have much more interesting things to say - I'll read a paper or something.


C xx

p.s. have you ever noticed how white Britney Spears' teeth are? WOW. I wish I was her friend.